I had a dream last night where I told him we should just have a friends with benefits relationship. I woke up and remembered thinking how incredibly insane that would be. I mean, yeah, I’ve thought about it but I can’t stoop myself that low. It kills me to know that for the last few months every time we had sex there was nothing emotional there for him. Nothing.

Anyways, he’s made it blatantly obvious that he still cares about me. He texted me this morning and asked if I was okay cause there was some fire in Denton or something, I don’t even know. I know he still cares, it’s just not in the way I would prefer. I think we’re going to always be friends and I’m okay with that. I think. I mean part of me is always going to miss the side of him that I thought was real and that he thought was real for a bit. I’m always going to love him. There’s nothing that can change that.

This is the quickest I’ve gotten over a relationship for the most part. Of course, I’m not completely over it. That’ll take more time than I care to count, but I’m working on making myself happy. It’s easier now that my apartment is all rearranged. That was a big deal for me doing it alone. It really was. Achievement unlocked: badass independent lady.

I’m still going to use tumblr for this everyday. It’s nice. It’s quicker than writing it all out and clearly it’s making things easier for me. If you don’t want to follow me that’s fine. No hard feelings. :)