I’ve decided that I’m not going to question why he suddenly cares to talk to me. If he wants to, that’s fine, if he doesn’t so be it.

Last night I rearranged everything in my apartment. I don’t know how I managed it because everything is kind of ridiculously heavy. That’s beside the point though. I did it, alone. I’m starting to get back into my independent lady-ness that I had before him and I got together. It feels amazing. I was relying on him way too much. I was relying on him to make me happy and goodness knows that NEVER works out in the end.

Getting my independent status back I’ve realised that I can talk to him without hurting myself. I don’t know about seeing him, I don’t want to test that one out. I’ve also realised that if he was the one then we wouldn’t have had to try so hard and he would have been in love from begnning to end. That’s just not how it worked out and you know, I’m okay with that.

I’ve learned so much from this relationship, even though I still have unanswered questions but I don’t think he’d be able to answer them anyways so it’s okay. I think him and I are meant to be friends. I’ll always love him and part of me will always yearn for him, but it’s just not supposed to be. Maybe in the future something could happen? I highly doubt it but you never really know.

I think I’m going to email Greg and his wife and thank them profusely for writing “It’s Called a Break Up BEcause it’s Broken.” I have to admit, it and among some other things kind of saved my life. I wish I was saying that lightly, but I’m not, I’m serious.

Lastly, I want to thank all the lovely ladies in my life. Samantha, I love you the mostest. Mommy, I don’t know what I would do without in any situation. Asha, thank you so so so so so so so so so so much for being there since the beginning, I bet I wasn’t easy to be around ha. Keeley, thanks for texting me at 4-5 in the morning when I thought I was going to fucking lose my mind because he was still here and I was so bleeding upset. And Cassie and Kellie, I know y’all would have been here in a heartbeat if y’all could have been. I owe all you ladies something. I love you all so much. <3 Seriously, thank you for being in my life.