Someone at my apartment complex literally just went all Emily Rose on someone and yelled “WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?! FUCK YOUUU”
Now it’s all quiet and I’m kind of freaking out.
Straight up thugging today.
It’s only cause I slightly busted my head open and the wind blowing really hurt me. :(
((Doctor Who ref I never got as a kid. ))
it all makes sense now
mother of god
Hahaha K-9 AND the TARDIS! :)
Things I didn’t notice before.
Jimmy Neutron had Matt Smith hair before Matt Smith had Matt Smith hair
this could explain why I freaking loved that show.
I had a dream last night where I told him we should just have a friends with benefits relationship. I woke up and remembered thinking how incredibly insane that would be. I mean, yeah, I’ve thought about it but I can’t stoop myself that low. It kills me to know that for the last few months every time we had sex there was nothing emotional there for him. Nothing.
Anyways, he’s made it blatantly obvious that he still cares about me. He texted me this morning and asked if I was okay cause there was some fire in Denton or something, I don’t even know. I know he still cares, it’s just not in the way I would prefer. I think we’re going to always be friends and I’m okay with that. I think. I mean part of me is always going to miss the side of him that I thought was real and that he thought was real for a bit. I’m always going to love him. There’s nothing that can change that.
This is the quickest I’ve gotten over a relationship for the most part. Of course, I’m not completely over it. That’ll take more time than I care to count, but I’m working on making myself happy. It’s easier now that my apartment is all rearranged. That was a big deal for me doing it alone. It really was. Achievement unlocked: badass independent lady.
I’m still going to use tumblr for this everyday. It’s nice. It’s quicker than writing it all out and clearly it’s making things easier for me. If you don’t want to follow me that’s fine. No hard feelings. :)
I’m glad the book helped a bit :)
me too! thank you so much for suggesting it and giving me words of encouragement. I don’t know what I would have done without you either.
I’ve decided that I’m not going to question why he suddenly cares to talk to me. If he wants to, that’s fine, if he doesn’t so be it.
Last night I rearranged everything in my apartment. I don’t know how I managed it because everything is kind of ridiculously heavy. That’s beside the point though. I did it, alone. I’m starting to get back into my independent lady-ness that I had before him and I got together. It feels amazing. I was relying on him way too much. I was relying on him to make me happy and goodness knows that NEVER works out in the end.
Getting my independent status back I’ve realised that I can talk to him without hurting myself. I don’t know about seeing him, I don’t want to test that one out. I’ve also realised that if he was the one then we wouldn’t have had to try so hard and he would have been in love from begnning to end. That’s just not how it worked out and you know, I’m okay with that.
I’ve learned so much from this relationship, even though I still have unanswered questions but I don’t think he’d be able to answer them anyways so it’s okay. I think him and I are meant to be friends. I’ll always love him and part of me will always yearn for him, but it’s just not supposed to be. Maybe in the future something could happen? I highly doubt it but you never really know.
I think I’m going to email Greg and his wife and thank them profusely for writing “It’s Called a Break Up BEcause it’s Broken.” I have to admit, it and among some other things kind of saved my life. I wish I was saying that lightly, but I’m not, I’m serious.
Lastly, I want to thank all the lovely ladies in my life. Samantha, I love you the mostest. Mommy, I don’t know what I would do without in any situation. Asha, thank you so so so so so so so so so so much for being there since the beginning, I bet I wasn’t easy to be around ha. Keeley, thanks for texting me at 4-5 in the morning when I thought I was going to fucking lose my mind because he was still here and I was so bleeding upset. And Cassie and Kellie, I know y’all would have been here in a heartbeat if y’all could have been. I owe all you ladies something. I love you all so much. <3 Seriously, thank you for being in my life.
